I can't stand it.

It's not often that I actually give up on a book. I actually just went through and made a shelf on Goodreads of books I've given up on. It numbers 3: Angels & Demons by Dan Brown, Street Gang by Michael Davis (a huge disappointment, considering how obsessed I am with Sesame Street) and now:

Crescendo (Hush, Hush #2) by Becca Fitzpatrick
(Simon & Schuster Children's, 14+)
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I'll start by saying the reason I gave up on Angels & Demons and Street Gang was because of the writing, which is not the case here. Angels & Demons is the worst drivel I've ever read ("Robert Langdon went here", "Robert Langdon said this", "Robert Langdon got on a plane", etc.) and Street Gang was so obsessed with the intricate details of everyone's life that was involved in the creation of Sesame Street that it was impossible to enjoy. Crescendo and I, on the other hand, had a content problem.

I read Hush, Hush about a year ago, and it was... okay. At the time, I gave it three stars, but I'm knocking it down to two now, because frankly I can hardly remember jack about that book. So it couldn't have been that good. It must've just run right in and out of my brain. So I remember wanting to read the sequel, but at this point I couldn't tell you why. But we finally got it in at work, so I decided to pick it up, regardless. I mean, I wasn't going to go back and reread Hush, Hush.

I quite literally got maybe a 100 pages into Crescendo before dropping it. I don't know what sort of hormonal imbalance Nora Grey is rocking, but it's not appealing or attractive. The book starts with her and Patch (her fallen angel boyfriend, the "Edward" of the piece, if you will) at some fireworks display or something (I'm not entirely sure, I don't think it was all that important). Nora goes off to get snacks or something and runs into her arch-nemesis Marcie, who, after Nora picks a fight with her, uncouthly reminds her that her dad is dead. Except you can tell that Marcie just lacks some social etiquette and in her mind is just speaking the truth. It's like Cordelia (from Buffy/Angel), only not funny. So Nora runs off to cry for twenty minutes.

Once she brings herself to reunite with Patch, they spend a good long time macking on each other and promising to be together always. They seal this promise with the exchange of meaningful jewelery. Then Nora busts out with the l-word, but Patch is distracted by some perceived evil off in the woods and leaves. The next day at school, Marcie reveals that Patch was outside her house during the night. Well, Nora is pissed. She demands an explanation from Patch, who basically says it's none of her business. And now she's in danger, so he won't say he loves her, or something. So she breaks up with him. Even thought she was just promising to spend eternity with him, blahblahblah.

That's it. I'm sorry, I can't take anymore. I put it down in favor of some comic book reading, fully intending to pick it up again, but I got Libba Bray's Beauty Queens last night (signed!) and frankly, I have better things to do with my time.

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
(Simon & Schuster Children's, 14+)
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

What I will say for this book though? When it first came out, it had the coolest dump I think I'd ever seen, which the falling angel all popping out and stuff. (For the non-booksellers out there, a dump is a cardboard display the publishers send with new books. You've all seen them. They're horrible to put together and often really ugly, but this one was nice.)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011: New Releases

Big Tuesday for kids books this week. As ever, synopses come from the back of the book.

We All Fall Down: Living with Addiction by Nic Sheff
(Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, 15+)

In his bestselling memoir Tweak, Nic Sheff shared a heartbreakingly honest account of his days as a crystal meth addict. In this powerful and engrossing follow-up, Sheff writes candidly about stints at in-patient rehabilitation facilities, devastating relapses with alcohol and drugs, and hard-won realizations about what it means to be a young person living with addiction.

City of Fallen Angels (Mortal Instruments #4) by Cassandra Clare
(Margaret K. McElderry, 14+)

Who will be tempted by darkness? Who will fall in love, and who will find their relationship torn apart? And who will betray everything they ever believed in?

Love. Blood. Betrayal. Revenge.

In the heart-pounding fourth installment of the Mortal Instruments series, the stakes are higher than ever.

Where She Went (If I Stay #2) by Gayle Forman
(Dutton Juvenile, 14+)

It's been three years since the devastating accident . . . three years since Mia walked out of Adam's life forever.

Now living on opposite coasts, Mia is Juilliard's rising star and Adam is LA tabloid fodder, thanks to his new rock star status and celebrity girlfriend. When Adam gets stuck in New York by himself, chance brings the couple together again, for one last night. As they explore the city that has become Mia's home, Adam and Mia revisit the past and open their hearts to the future-and each other.

Told from Adam's point of view in the spare, lyrical prose that defined If I Stay, Where She Went explores the devastation of grief, the promise of new hope, and the flame of rekindled romance.

Plague (Gone #4) by Michael Grant
(Katherine Tegen Books, 13+)

It's been eight months since all the adults disappeared. Gone.

They've survived hunger. They've survived lies. But the stakes keep rising, and the dystopian horror keeps building. Yet despite the simmering unrest left behind by so many battles, power struggles, and angry divides, there is a momentary calm in Perdido Beach.

But enemies in the FAYZ don't just fade away, and in the quiet, deadly things are stirring, mutating, and finding their way free. The Darkness has found its way into the mind of its Nemesis at last and is controlling it through a haze of delirium and confusion. A highly contagious, fatal illness spreads at an alarming rate. Sinister, predatory insects terrorize Perdido Beach. And Sam, Astrid, Diana, and Caine are plagued by a growing doubt that they'll escape—or even survive—life in the FAYZ. With so much turmoil surrounding them, what desperate choices will they make when it comes to saving themselves and those they love?

The Ghoul Next Door (Monster High #2) by Lisi Harrison
(Poppy, 10+)

Cleopatra de Nile

- New pet snake
- Has Deuce--the hottest guy in school--all warapped up
- Herve Leger bandage dress, strappy gold platforms

Cleo was the queen bee of the RADs, the normies, and everyone in between at Merston High. But now it's "Frankie this" and "Melody that" . . . these new girls sure know how to get her lashes in a tangle. When Cleo lands a golden Teen Vogue photo op for her friends, everything seems to be back on track . . . until they bail to be in some film . . . Frankie and Melody's film! Can't a royal get some loyal?

Frankie Stein

Frankie lost her head over Brett once and vows never to do it again. Not that she has a choice: Bekka is clinging to her guy like plastic wrap. But when Brett comes up with a plan that could help the RADs live free, sparks fly, and Bekka will stop at nothing to put out the flames . . . even if it means destroying the entire monster community.

Melody Carver

The clock is tick-tick-ticking. Melody has a serious deadline to save her boyfriend, Jackson, from being exposed by the vengeance-seeking Bekka. But Cleo is making it royally difficult for the normie while threatening her acceptance into the RADs' exclusive group . . . a group that Melody suspects she has more in common with than she ever thought.

Fitting in is out.

The 39 Clues: Vespers Rising by Rick Riordan
(Scholastic Press, 9-12)

The Cahills thought they were the most powerful family the world had ever known. They thought they were the only ones who knew about Gideon Cahill and his Clues. The Cahills were wrong.

Powerful enemies — the Vespers — have been waiting in the shadows. Now it’s their time to rise and the world will never be the same. In Vespers Rising, a brand new 39 Clues novel, bestselling authors Rick Riordan, Peter Lerangis, Gordon Korman and Jude Watson take on the hidden history of the Cahills and the Vespers, and the last, terrible legacy Grace Cahill leaves for Amy and Dan.

The Emerald Atlas (Books of Beginning #1) by John Stephens
(Knopf Books for Young Readers, 9-12)

Kate, Michael, and Emma have been in one orphanage after another for the last ten years, passed along like lost baggage.

Yet these unwanted children are more remarkable than they could possibly imagine. Ripped from their parents as babies, they are being protected from a horrible evil of devastating power, an evil they know nothing about.

Until now.

Before long, Kate, Michael, and Emma are on a journey to dangerous and secret corners of the world...a journey of allies and enemies, of magic and mayhem.  And—if an ancient prophesy is correct—what they do can change history, and it is up to them to set things right.

The Emerald Atlas brims with humor and action as it charts Kate, Michael, and Emma's extraordinary adventures through an unforgettable, enchanted world.

The Sign of the Moon (Warriors: Omen of the Stars #4) by Erin Hunter
(HarperCollins, 9-12)

The end of the stars draws near.
Three must become four to battle
the darkness that lasts forever. . . .

The dark forces that have driven a rift between the four warrior Clans are growing stronger. Jayfeather, Lionblaze, and Dovepaw now know that unless they can unravel the true meaning behind the prophecy that binds them, the warrior code could be destroyed forever.

While Lionblaze remains focused on protecting ThunderClan from another deadly battle, Jayfeather receives a desperate plea for help from the Tribe of Rushing Water. He must travel to the mountains in search of answers that link the Clans to the Tribe in ways no cat could have imagined. But with the summons comes an ominous warning that suggests the power of the stars may not be enough to save the Clans.

Power Play (Kingdom Keepers #4) by Ridley Pearson
(Hyperion Books for Children, 9-12)

For the five teens who modeled as Disney Hologram Imaging hosts, life is beginning to settle down when an intriguing video arrives to Philby's computer at school. It's a call for action: the Overtakers, a group of Disney villains, seem to be plotting to attempt a rescue of two of their leaders, both of whom the Disney Imagineers have hidden away somewhere following a violent encounter in Epcot. A staged attack by new Overtakers at Downtown Disney, startles the group.

One of their own, Charlene, is acting strange of late. Has she tired of her role as a Kingdom Keeper or is there something more sinister at play? When caught sneaking into Epcot as her DHI, acting strictly against the group's rules, Finn and Philby take action.

Has the "impossible" occurred? Have the Overtakers created their own holograms? Have they found a way to "jump" from the Virtual Maintenance Network onto the Internet, and if so, what does that mean for the safety of the parks, and the spread and reach of the Overtakers? Are they recruiting an army from outside the parks?

A dark cloud in the Kingdom Keeper era is unfolding, and with dissention in their own ranks, it's unclear if there's any chance of escape.

Why every teenage girl should read Jane Eyre.

This week, I'm rereading my all-time favorite book, Jane Eyre. I've read it more times than any other book: I first picked it up when I was ten, was actually able to read it at twelve and have generally reread it about once every two years since then.

I took it up this time after seeing the new movie in theatres, and then, dissatisfied with the adaptation aspects, also watched the 1944 Orson Welles/Joan Fontaine version (an even worse adaptation, if a solid movie) and the 1983 BBC miniseries starring Timothy Dalton and Zelah Clarke (far and away the closest to the novel in many ways and Dalton is a surprising win for my favorite Rochester).

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I love this book for so many reasons. One of the things that most disappointed me about the new film was its departure from the classic and wonderful dialogue. But what I've really realized during this latest rereading is part of what I love best of all is that huge boring bit when she goes off and lives with the Riverses.

Yes, it's arguably the least exciting or interesting part of the story. (And, as my roommate will be sure to tell you, it's completely implausible that they should turn out to be her cousins.) But it's really, very important to her life and it's what differentiates it from other classic love stories of this or any other era. Jane is a singular heroine, in that she leaves Rochester, no matter how unwilling she may be, goes off and becomes an independent, happy person all on her own. She refuses to compromise her own morals in order to stay with him, because she knows whatever happiness she finds will be as the expense of her own self-respect. So, even though she loves him, can't bear the thought of leaving and has no place to go, she goes anyway. When she returns to him, it's because she loves him, but she doesn't need him to complete her, or any other bullshit like that. Strange Dickensian twist of fate it may be, but on her own she has found family and fortune. However, I think even prior to that, she again found a purpose in the world, and when St. John proposes to her, she refuses him too cause she doesn't feel that way about him and she doesn't need a man.

Yeah, there's some feminist lady-empowering stuff in here, but my real point is, man, do I wish more women had this sort of sensibility, so they're not staying with guys they love even though there's some other large impediment to their own self-worth, or they're not just dating guys just to be with someone. Because that is the worst. And as I always say about exes, is that they're your ex for a reason, and unless that reason is resolved (say like his crazy attic wife dies so he's no longer trying to be a bigamist), you shouldn't get back together with them.

Obviously this post is a lot of me imparting my principles on the world, but I really think this book likely shaped these principles, which I feel are some of the best that I have. At no point in the story does Jane degrade herself for any man, and I think that's something that's all too common with women. Also, Jane? Not a looker. This is not like she was going to have offers pouring in. She was just cool with being by herself, rather than settling for something less than what she deserved.

That's it, I guess. Make your teenagers read Jane Eyre. (Look, you can even buy it in a Twilight-esque edition!)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011: New Releases

I have a couple of reviews forthcoming, I swear. In the meanwhile, I bring you the second installment in my Tuesday releases posts. (All synopses from the back of the book.)


Wither (Chemical Garden Trilogy #1) by Lauren DeStefano
(Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing, 14+)

What if you knew exactly when you would die?

Thanks to modern science, every human being has become a ticking genetic time bomb—males only live to age twenty-five, and females only live to age twenty. In this bleak landscape, young girls are kidnapped and forced into polygamous marriages to keep the population from dying out.

When sixteen-year-old Rhine Ellery is taken by the Gatherers to become a bride, she enters a world of wealth and privilege. Despite her husband Linden's genuine love for her, and a tenuous trust among her sister wives, Rhine has one purpose: to escape—to find her twin brother and go home.

But Rhine has more to contend with than losing her freedom. Linden's eccentric father is bent on finding an antidote to the genetic virus that is getting closer to taking his son, even if it means collecting corpses in order to test his experiments. With the help of Gabriel, a servant Rhine is growing dangerously attracted to, Rhine attempts to break free, in the limted time she has left.


Scorpia Rising (Alex Rider #9) by Anthony Horowitz
(Philomel, 10+)

Scorpia has dogged Alex Rider for most of his life. They killed his parents, they did their best to con Alex into turning traitor, and they just keep coming back with more power. Now the world's most dangerous terrorist organization is playing with fire in the world's most combustible land: the Middle East. No one knows Scorpia like Alex. And no one knows how best to get to Alex like Scorpia. Until now.

The chases have never been more intense, the fights more treacherous, or the risks so perilous to mankind. And this time, Alex won't get away.


Best of the Best: A Baseball Great Novel by Tim Green
(HarperCollins, 9-12)

Josh is still flying high from his team's tournament win at Coopers­town when his parents start talking about a divorce. Now his dad is challenging him to play the best of the best at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. But does he just want to get Josh out of the way? Two things are sure: His father's new girlfriend, Diane, is looking to change things, and Josh is determined to get her and her terrible son out of his life.

With the help of Benji and Jaden, Josh races to get the facts that can keep his family together—but it's ever harder to concentrate on the game and make the winning plays that will lead his team to victory.

In his compelling style, Tim Green delivers great sports action and more—a fast-paced adventure about friendship, the power of becoming a team, and finding a way to get what you need when you can't have what you want.


Ladybug Girl and the Bug Squad by David Soman & Jacky Davis
(Dial, 4-8)

Lulu is so excited for the Bug Squad to come over for a playdate, and she has all kinds of things planned for them to do-right down to eating cupcakes. The cupcakes are special because each one has a candle that Lulu thinks everyone should blow out at exactly the same time.

But when things don't go just the way Lulu planned, feelings are hurt and apologies are necessary. Sounds like a job for Ladybug Girl, who knows how to be brave and say she's sorry, even when it isn't easy.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011: New Releases

So if you don't already know, Tuesday is new book day. Actually it's also new music and new DVDs day too, but for our purposes, new book day. So here are the new and notable children's books that have been released today (and their back-of-the-book synopses):

Midnight (The Vampire Diaries: The Return #3) by L.J. Smith
(HarperTeen, 14+)

The devil you know. . .

With the help of charming and devious Damon, Elena rescued her vampire love, Stefan, from the depths of the Dark Dimension. But neither brother returned unscathed.

Stefan is weak from his long imprisonment and needs more blood than Elena alone can give him, while a strange magic has turned Damon into a human. Savage and desperate, Damon will do anything to become a vampire again—even travel back to hell. But what will happen when he accidentally takes Bonnie with him?

Stefan and Elena hurry to rescue their innocent friend from the Dark Dimension, leaving Matt and Meredith to save their hometown from the dangerous spirits that have taken hold of Fell's Church. One by one, children are succumbing to demonic designs. But Matt and Meredith soon discover that the source of the evil is darker—and closer—than they ever could have imagined. . . .


Steel by Carrie Vaughn
(HarperTeen, 12+)

Sixteen-year-old Jill has fought in dozens of fencing tournaments, but she has never held a sharpened blade. When she finds a corroded sword piece on a Caribbean beach, she is instantly intrigued and pockets it as her own personal treasure.

The broken tip holds secrets, though, and it transports Jill through time to the deck of a pirate ship. Stranded in the past and surrounded by strangers, she is forced to sign on as crew. But a pirate's life is bloody and brief, and as Jill learns about the dark magic that brought her there, she forms a desperate scheme to get home—one that risks everything in a duel to the death with a villainous pirate captain.


How They Croaked: The Awful Ends of the Awfully Famous by Georgia Bragg & Kevin O'Malley
(Walker Books for Young Readers, 10-14)

Over the course of history men and women have lived and died. In fact, getting sick and dying can be a big, ugly mess-especially before the modern medical care that we all enjoy today. How They Croaked relays all the gory details of how nineteen world figures gave up the ghost. For example:

It is believed that Henry VIII's remains exploded within his coffin while lying in state. Doctors "treated" George Washington by draining almost 80 ounces of blood before he finally kicked the bucket. Right before Beethoven wrote his last notes, doctors drilled a hole in his stomach without any pain medication. Readers will be interested well past the final curtain, and feel lucky to live in a world with painkillers, X-rays, soap, and 911.


A World Without Heroes (Beyonders #1) by Brandon Mull
(Aladdin, 9-12)

Jason Walker has often wished his life could be a bit less predictable--until a routine day at the zoo ends with Jason suddenly transporting from the hippo tank to a place unlike anything he's ever seen. In the past, the people of Lyrian welcomed visitors from the Beyond, but attitudes have changed since the wizard emperor Maldor rose to power. The brave resistors who opposed the emperor have been bought off or broken, leaving a realm where fear and suspicion prevail.

In his search for a way home, Jason meets Rachel, who was also mysteriously drawn to Lyrian from our world. With the help of a few scattered rebels, Jason and Rachel become entangled in a quest to piece together the word of power that can destroy the emperor, and learn that their best hope to find a way home will be to save this world without heroes.


Shimmer (Riley Bloom #2) by Alyson Noel
(Square Fish, 9-12)

Having solved the matter of the Radiant Boy, Riley, Buttercup, and Bodhi are enjoying a well-deserved vacation. When Riley comes across a vicious black dog, against Bodhi’s advice, she decides to cross him over. While following the dog, she runs into a young ghost named Rebecca. Despite Rebecca’s sweet appearance, Riley soon learns she’s not at all what she seems. As the daughter of a former plantation owner, she is furious about being murdered during a slave revolt in 1733. Mired in her own anger, Rebecca is lashing out by keeping the ghosts who died along with her trapped in their worst memories. Can Riley help Rebecca forgive and forget without losing herself to her own nightmarish memories?


Fancy Nancy's Marvelous Mother's Day Brunch by Jane O'Connor & Robin Preiss Glasser (illustrator)
(HarperFestival, 4-8)

Nancy plans the perfect Mother's Day in this fancy new lift-the-flap book!

Nancy pulls out all the stops to give her mom the best Mother's Day celebration of all time—but will everything go according to plan? This book includes thirteen flaps that open to reveal hidden surprises that will delight all Fancy Nancy fans!

There's only so many vampire stories even I can do.

I love vampires, don't get me wrong, but they are rabidly over-played and most of my vampire patience gets taken up by my television watching: True Blood, The Vampire Diaries (neither of which I read the books to) and, of course, Buffy and Angel reruns. So in my young adult reading, I find it refreshing to find some really good (no Twilight here people) paranormal fiction. And we're going to try and stay away from the vampires here entirely.

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
(Scholastic, 13+)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The most fitting into that Twilight sort of genre of anything I'm likely to recommend on this blog. It's a love story with werewolves. And the love story is slightly like something you've seen before: boy watches girl from afar before circumstances align for them to interact face to face. It's Edward Cullen, it's Angel, it's Stefan Salvatore, or Bill Compton or any of those vampire guys. But Sam's a werewolf, and not your average werewolf at that. Stiefvater's werewolves aren't ruled by the moon or able to change of their own volition, their physical state depends on the temperature out. When it's cold is when they turn into wolves, and they spend the entirety of the winter months in that state. Respectively they spend the summer as humans, however as time goes on they turn into wolves more and more easily until they spend all of their time that way. And moving to a warmer climate would only make it worse.

So Sam watches Grace from afar, aware that his situation would make being together impossible. Especially since we find out that Grace has been bitten by a werewolf but never changed, so her becoming a werewolf is equally impossible.

The writing is lovely, the story is interesting and although there is a sequel, Linger, and an upcoming conclusion to the trilogy, Forever, I actually really loved Shiver as a one-shot. I bought Linger, but it just continues to chill on my bookshelf waiting to be read.

Alternately we next come to two of my very favorite young adult trilogies ever.

The Summoning by Kelley Armstrong
(HarperCollins, 12+)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I first started reading Kelley Armstrong many years ago when my coworkers at Walden ooks convinced me to pick up Bitten, the first in her Women of the Otherworld series and as solid a piece of adult paranormal fiction as they come. But as these things usually do, her more recent entries in the series haven't been as good as her early efforts. The complete opposite is true of her young adult work. Not only is it better than her current adult novels, each book in the Darkest Powers Trilogy is better than the previous one.

It actually took me a minute before I picked up The Summoning because from reading the blurb it seemed to skew a little younger than I was feeling at the moment. (Although being twenty-five in the YA section, who knows where I'm going with that thought.) But Chloe is a realistic fifteen-year-old who does a lot of growing up during the series. Oh, and she's also a necromancer as we find out during the course of the books.

The series is populated with werewolves, ghosts, witches, a large conspiracy theory, many characters you don't know whether to trust or not and a really well-done teenage love triangle. I mean, I know who I was pulling for, but I had a real question as to which she'd go for.

The Awakening by Kelley Armstrong
(HarperCollins, 12+)
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Reckoning by Kelley Armstrong
(HarperCollins, 12+)
My rating: 5 of 5 stars






The second trilogy in the series starts this year with the upcoming The Gathering, and while I'm sad that Chloe's story is at an end, I appreciate Armstrong's willingness to take on another character so as not to wear the first one out, as she did with the Otherworld series (which, for the curious, takes place in the same universe).

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray
(Delacorte Books for Young Readers, 13+)
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Libba Bray's first novel introduces us to Gemma Doyle, the titular character of the trilogy. Gemma is in Mary Lennox-like circumstances when her mother dies and she's removed from her beloved India and replaced into Victorian England. This book encompasses the historical with the fantastical, a portal story as well as a paranormal one, and throws it into a Victorian boarding school where the girls are as much teenage, and often mean, girls as any contemporary YA story. Oh yeah, and there's a love interest too.

I'm going to have a problem genuinely reviewing this series, cause I just adore it so much. Let me just say, it has everything, is well-written and made me cry. And I cry very rarely. (Pretty much only at that one scene in Gone With the Wind with Mammy and Melanie talking on the stairs. And also Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But only the first time.)

Basically if you enjoy any of the sorts of stories I mentioned, you have to read this. Double if you are or ever have been a teenage girl.

Rebel Angels by Libba Bray
(Delacorte Books for Young Readers, 13+)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray
(Delacorte Books for Young Readers, 13+)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Yeah, people really like this book, but I didn't.

Beastly by Alex Flinn
(HarperTeen, 13+)
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I read Beastly back in September, but I was reminded of it yesterday when I saw a copy with its shiny new movie tie-in cover sitting on a pile of books at work. Apparently back in September I gave it two stars, but looking back I really have to revise my decision, because I kind of thought it was awful. Awful enough to get ranty at the mere sight of it.

Let me start by saying my very favorite of all fairy tales (and my favorite Disney movie) is Beauty and the Beast and there is nothing I love more than an awesome Beauty and the Beast retelling. Which is why I picked up Beastly, despite being initially put off by the framing device of the main character airing his woes in a chatroom populated by other fairy tale characters (the Little Mermaid, the Frog Prince, etc.). I hate this because IM speak is terrible enough to have to read on the internet, please don't put it in my literature.

The other problem with the chatroom is a problem with the book in general: it's total and complete lack of subtlety. Absolutely nowhere in this book is any shred of attempt to conceal the Beauty and the Beast-ness of the plot. It is quite literally Beauty and the Beast, just moved to present-day New York. Which frankly doesn't work terribly well. Elements like the girl's father giving her to the beast or the beast hiding away in the middle of Brooklyn just don't translate. And parts of the original story, like his affinity for roses, I felt were just chucked in there so you couldn't possibly mistake this for anything other than Beauty and the Beast. And the chatroom loses all semblance of disguise. These characters are literally there being like, "Hey, I'm the Little Mermaid, what's poppin'?"

Furthermore, the main character of Kyle Kingsbury (who then changes his name to Adrian, for no other reason than for the girl to not be able to recognize him as the bully she went to school with) is so radically unlikeable and even when he changes to be a better person, is uninteresting and kind of dumb, really.

I'm a little intrigued by the movie, only because even just from the poster, things are clearly different than the book. For one thing, in the book he's just a beast, none of this weird scarred/tattooed nonsense. And Neil Patrick Harris is in it, but who knows what scripts people will pick up for a paycheck.

What really surprises me is the rave reviews of this book, which led me to pick it up in the first place. If you really want an AWESOME Beauty and the Beast retelling, here are some ones I'd recommend over this, any day:

Beauty: A Retelling of the Story of Beauty and the Beast by Robin McKinley
(HarperTeen, 12+)
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The original and still the best. Also, says 12+, but I would say it's appropriate for the 9-12 set as well.


Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley
(Ace, 18+)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

McKinley's second crack at the story is not quite as good, but skewed a little older and still worth your time. Again, the publisher is saying adult, I remember this as YA, though, and Amazon concurs with me.


The Fire Rose by Mercedes Lackey
(Baen)
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Technically an adult sci-fi/fantasy novel, but if I remember correctly, nothing inappropriate for the YA set and certainly over 15.


Beauty and the Beast by Nancy Willard
(Harcourt, 9-12)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A storybook, but satisfies our Beauty and the Beast in New York City need ad includes beautiful wood engraving illustrations.